Dear Litterbug... | Higdons' Happy Home

Dear Litterbug,

This love affair you have with my yard is getting out of hand.  The candy wrappers, the plastic bottles and the paper bags . . . it needs to stop. 

And the beer bottles?  They are probably the worst.  You don't seem to understand.  I have small child.  I don't know about where you let your kids play, but I prefer to keep mine away from broken glass.  But you make it so difficult.  I have a rather large yard, but you make the available play space smaller and smaller with each g;ass bottle you carelessly toss.

And we won't even talk about your nudie magazine I found while searching for a lost pet.  Let's just say, I'm not impressed.

I'm sorry if you feel that I have led you on.  It was never my intention.  In fact, I'm not really sure what led you to believe I wanted your trash in the first place.  All I know is that I love the time I spend in my yard, and you are proving toxic to that relationship.

So, my dear Litterbug, we are through.  There are plenty more fish in the sea (or yards in town).  I have enclosed a picture of your belongings in case you want to come back for any of them.  You don't have to knock.  They'll be out in the trash.  But you better hurry.  Tomorrow is trash day.

Sincerely yours,

The Higdons





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